Maxine Adams

Since I like to say on this blog that it is the stories of someones life that we celebrate at the funerals, and that it is those stories that keep them alive in our hearts, I'd like to share with you briefly the story of my own mother's life.

Born to a poor country family in Northern Lower Michigan in 1933, she was raised with very few luxuries. Although being the only daughter, I'm sure she probably had it a little easier than her two brothers who were ten and eleven years older than her. Still, it was a time and place where homes had only one room and bathwater was shared by the whole family.

By the time she was ten, her brothers had gone off to war and her parents decided to move to Detroit in search of employment. But when she was only eleven, only one day before World War Two ended, her father was tragically killed in a freak factory explosion. Leaving her mother to raise her on her own in harsh times and a strange city.

At fourteen, she started caring for her mother who was injured in an automobile accident and 

by the time she graduated high school, her mother had been diagnosed with cancer. She met my father in March the following year and by June they were married. But before she could give her mother her first grandchild, her mother was gone.

It was a tough beginning to say the least. At that point, her husband (my father) decided he wanted to be a part of the newest craze in health care sweeping across America. He decided to become a Chiropractor. Together, as they started their family, they attended Palmer Chiropractic College in Iowa.

After finishing school, they opened the first chiropractic office in Leesville, Louisiana. It was not a big hit and they made the move to Houma, Louisiana to take over an existing practice. It was a new science then and patience were few. They often paid for services with a barter instead of money.

With a growing family and the promise of a steady paycheck, it was decided to move the family to Michigan where my father took a job with Ford Motor Co.. Their passion was always helping others through chiropractic care but food and clothing for a growing family was not cheap.

Total, my mother had seven children and my father made a very good living with Ford. My mother certainly did not want for much. Anything she thought we needed, we would have. And my father always made sure she always had a nice new car to drive her family around in.

She dedicated her life to raising her children. Taking time out four month every year to help a few hundred friends fill out their income tax forms. Our kitchen table became known as Max's Taxes.

Most importantly, she did not want any of her children to suffer the way she did as a child. She did her best to participate in any and all activities that we became interested in over the years. Then when she was 47 years old she started having problems with her heart. It turned out that a tumor had grown inside her heart and was blocking the valves from operating properly. She survived that, only to spend the rest of her life battling diabetes.

She wasn't perfect by any measure and had a bit of a short temper at times. my father even referred to her as Vesuvius. But she did her best with what she had to offer us. And for that, all seven of us love her and miss her very much. 

This 9th day of November 2012, I am reflecting on her life because today would have been her 79th birthday.

She may not be here to celebrate with us in the flesh, but she will always be in our hearts.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM !

Maxine Ellen Shattuck Adams

11/09/1933   ~   05/17/2011

More about my mom

Life is as the flash of the firefly in the night, the breath of the buffalo in winter time.

~ Blackfoot proverb

Life Expectancy

Often I hear at a committal service about the story of the Dash.
It goes on about how the first date on our headstones is the date we are born. We have no control over that.
The second date on our headstones is the date we died. And most often, we don't have much control over that either.
But, what we do have control over is how we spend the time between those dates. The dash, as it is represented on the stone.
I found this calculator on a website for an insurance company.  I found it to be a fun little tool. I scored a 89.
I'm not sure how I feel about that. If it means that the remaining 43 years is going to be good and healthy, I'm alright with it. But if I'm doomed to suffer, then we may have to revisit calculating that end date.

Give it a try, see what you've got left.

Lifespan Expectancy

So, how'd you do?
How does that make you feel?
If you are like me, you know you have some work to do before it's over. Better get busy.

Obviously, this is only one companies calculations and there are many more factors that can effect your span of life. We don't know how much time we will get. The facts are, if you live a clean, healthy life, you most likely will live a longer life. In my family, we just witnessed a scare that almost cut a clean life short with no warning at all. But only you can determine how full that life is or how you will be remembered.

"Knowledge that is not used, is abused." ~ Cree tribe

Live well, my friends. Expect more.

Dash T. Bunny

Walk lightly in the spring; Mother Earth is pregnant  ~  Kiowa tribe

Each day brings a new surprise.

As I walked through the garden on the way to my car this morning, I found this violet bursting with life, 

marking the resting place of my good friend and first pet,

 Dash the Bunny.

The sight of this display brought back many memories of him hopping around the house.

I remember when we first let him hop free and he had no idea how strong his back legs were. He was so excited and jumped as hard as he could. This of course sent him flying heals over head and landing upside down. And then how embarrassed he would get when I told that story and he'd go hide in the corner.

Here's a photo of him in his older days. Silly bunny, the carrot goes in the other end.

I hope your garden is bursting with new life and many happy memories.

Lambs, Calves, and Butterflies

We will forever be known by the tracks we leave. ~ Dakota tribe

As I listen to the stories of the lives that we honor each day in the funeral business, I often find myself fascinated by what I hear. The life we live daily effects so many others in ways that we can't imagine. We think that our daily grind is so boring or that no one would care about the things we do. But as bloggers, we get a subtle reminder from our readers that people are interested. It's something that many people never get to experience. We don't get to go to our own funerals and hear the wonderful things that people say about us. We don't get to hear the stories of how we touched their lives. 

It's something that I would tell anyone; that people do care and you are loved, more than you'll ever know.

It's been a busy week here in the lower Thumb of Michigan (check the map and you'll know what I mean). There have been a variety of people that we've had the privilege of honoring. We've had rich people, poor people, young people and old ones too. Thursday was a 90 year old woman. Her service was in town, but her burial was in a small country cemetery. A little town, that no one knows where it is when you mention it. I found this appropriate marker at the grave of an infant that was buried  sometime mid century. It's appropriate not only because of the innocence of the young child, but because the name of the town is Lambs.

Often when an older person dies, we don't see a big turn out for the funeral. The person's friends have often died before them and family is scattered and can't always make it. This one was different. She had a big family and they all seemed to stay here locally. They all loved their grandmother, even the ones that weren't related, and everyone showed up. The procession was a long one, both for distance and the number of cars. As we drove out to the cemetery, you could witness the signs of spring and rebirth everywhere. The wild lilies growing in the ditches, a young calf nuzzling against it's mother in a field. When we reached the little grave yard across from the tiny stone church, much of the processional cars were left on the road because there just wasn't enough room for the vast amount of mourners to fit in the cemetery. The children that were in attendance were very well behaved and you could tell that everyone there was  truly sorrowful. As often happens after the committal service, people disperse throughout the grounds of the cemetery looking for loved ones graves. It was such a peaceful place where you felt so at ease. I could see why someone would choose this place of rest. I found great joy watching as two little girls went picking dandelions and chasing butterflies.

Perhaps one of the greatest illusions, is that life could somehow be better than it already is.

I hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, and their life. Because everyone around you is enjoying having you in their lives.

Opportunity

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for kindness.

- Seneca Nation

Sometimes, in hindsight, it may seem that your prior kindness were for naught, and that in the end, they were too high a price to pay for the pains you've endured.

This is, of course, until you get a little further into the future, when the pendulum has been allowed its full swing, and the seeds you've sown have begun blooming in more gardens than you ever knew existed.

And just like the robin that is building it's nest in the tree outside my door, kindness always returns.

Rainbows of the Soul

In reflection of the video that I posted a couple of days ago, I give you this Native American Proverb....


He who is present at a wrongdoing and does not lift a hand to prevent it is as guilty as the wrongdoers.

-- Omaha

Will it get better?

He who is present at a wrongdoing and does not lift a hand to prevent it is as guilty as the wrongdoers.
= Omaha

I thought this was an appropriate quote from my book of native proverbs, in the light of the seemingly never ending bullying going on in our schools and online.

The kids are learning this behavior from somewhere. Whether it's the parents, a mentor or other kids in school, this is not normal and we need to educate people of the long term results.

As adults, we can usually make it through a rough spot or two and know that it will get better. As children that are 13 or 14 years old, four years until graduation is beyond comprehension. Even a week can seem like an eternity. A week of torture can be all it takes for a youngster to decide to take his or her own life. It can be so hard to see that there is hope. We all need to be present in our daily interactions with them. You could be the person who saves someone's life. Just by being nice to them. By standing up to someone that is picking on someone else. It's a big, lonely world out there for some of these kids.

During my upcoming trip, we will be filming a "It get's better video" in memory of Jamey Rodemey and all the other kids that we have lost because of bullying over the last year. I am happy to participate in this project and I hope that it does help someone. But even more than that, I live by example every day. We can't let this continue. Laughing at other people just because they may seem a little different is unacceptable. I was that kid. And I hope that no one ever has to go through what I went through.

I have had to do a service for one such kid a few years ago. It was by far the hardest funeral that I have ever done. It rips your heart out to see the family suffering from the loss. It's very real. I still visit the grave of that young man some three years later. And I wonder if anyone learned anything from his death, or is it all still the same.

Your greatest enemy

Seek strength, not to be greater than your brother,
But to fight your greatest enemy; Yourself.

-unknown tribe



Isn't it your triumphs over adversity, surprise rebounds, and stellar comebacks that you look back on with the most fondness? Far more than the easy, cake for breakfast and pyjamas in the afternoon, kind of times?


Haven't you noticed, that you're "wired" to succeed?

The soul would have no rainbow...

In honor of my now late mother and her Native American ancestry, I will be quoting from time to time some Native American proverbs. Many of which will be quoted from the book  "The Soul Would Have No Rainbow, If The Eyes Had No Tears" by Guy A Zona.

My grandfather claimed to be Chippewa, but his family came from the central New York area, where there were no Chippewa. Since there wasn't a lot of records kept in the 1800's, we'll let him slide and embrace ALL the Native American teachings.

For in reality,"With all things and in all things, we are relatives"
- Sioux

(Home)

Proverbs are time-honored truths which condense the collected wisdom and experience of a people and their culture. If you want to know a people, the saying goes, know their proverbs.

Proverbs often serve as a means of instruction in the rules of conduct and ethical behavior expected by all members of a society. What makes them an effective tool is that they are based on a keen observation of human nature and behavior rather than idealized and unrealistic standard.

The proverbs I'll share here are those of a people who love the land and regard it as sacred, who see daily prayer as a duty, and have no need to set apart one day out of seven as a holy day, but rather observe every day as God's day.

Feel free along the way to share a proverb of your own ancestry in the comments.


Originally published at http://brightergrave.blogspot.com/