It was a beautiful funeral for a very nice 86 year old woman. All her relatives and closest friends had gathered to pay tribute. At the end of the service, a musical rendition of the Lords Prayer was played. Soon everyone filed out to the parking lot where I had arranged all the cars neatly to proceed to the cemetery. Then the pallbearers carried the powder blue metal casket containing their beloved mother, grandmother or aunt slowly out to the waiting hearse (my hearse). When everyone was in their cars and all the lights turned on, we took our places in the lead car and hearse. That's when I realized, the hearse won't start!!!!!!
A look of panic came over my face as I calmly rushed up to the director. When he realized that I was not joking, his mind began to scramble. In no time at all, we had the van on back up and jumper cables on the way from an employees car. The next problem was that we didn't know how to jump a Cadillac. The battery is located under the rear deck.... (under the casket). When suddenly out of nowhere, a guardian angel appeared. The deceased woman's neighbor was a master mechanic and knew exactly how to jump start the high-tech beast. After a minute of charging from the directors car, the hearse started right up.
At the cemetery, we left the hearse running, just in case. I heard the family joking that their mother didn't want to go to the cemetery and that she always got the last laugh. Well know this Mrs. , that wasn't funny!
Rest assured future dead people, everything is fixed and running smoothly and I won't fall for that twice.