Wednesday, March 13, 2013

No Arizona

I've been absent from blogger for a while now and it really is not due to a lack of things to write about. Each day, I am surrounded by reminders that we live in an amazing world that beckons us to come and explore. Explore everything from the far reaches of distant continents to your own corner of the world. Some days I hear the stories of people that were well traveled and other days I hear of the old lady that never left her home town. One 94 year old had never even seen a need for a driver's licence. Her whole life centered around a few square blocks. I enjoy these stories. I love to hear of how others live. One thing that bothers me is when people never take the time to live their own lives. They do everything for someone else or even wait for someone else to do everything for them.

I'm reminded of  a country song by Jamie O'Neal. The story goes like this;
He promised her a new and better life, out in Arizona
Underneath the blue never ending sky, swore that he was gonna
Get things in order, he'd send for her.
When he left her behind, it never crossed her mind,
There is no Arizona.

She got a postcard with no return address, postmarked Tombstone
It said "I don't know where I'm going next but when I do
I'll let you know"
May, June, July she wonders why
She's still waiting, she'll keep waiting

Each day the sun sets into the west
Her heart sinks lower in her chest and
Friends keep asking when she's going
Finally she tells them
Don't you know....
There is no Arizona
No Painted Desert, no Sedona
If there was a Grand Canyon
She could fill it up with the lies he's told her
But they don't exist, those dreams he sold her
She'll wake up and find
There is no Arizona

What am I trying to say?
For this young lady, it doesn't matter if there is an Arizona or not.
For her, it doesn't exist.
She counted on someone else to take her there.
She waited for her life to begin.
Did she neglect her friends in hopes of leaving?
How did that make her friends feel?

We all have our responsibilities and I'm in no way saying that we should ignore those.
At the same time, I have to ask myself if my responsibilities are valid or are they excuses?
Is there something that I should be doing to get to that point in my life where I feel like I am fulfilling my life?

Not that I need to validate my absence. But I consider you all my friends so I'll tell you my reasons.
With the expansion of the business, I have been putting in countless hours promoting and trying to get all the vehicles moving on the road. I've also been spending many of my evenings with my father. We are so fortunate to still have him in our lives and I don't want to regret not spending more time with him. Many days are not so good and it's all he can do to get up and dressed. I'm happy to say that Sunday, the weather was beautiful. Around 50 degrees and sunny. For March in Michigan, we could not waste a day like that. So we loaded Dad into the car and went to the park for a walk. We then headed over to the pool hall where we had his 89th birthday party a couple of months ago and shot a couple of games. Next we headed to my house where he visited with Pugsley and played some cards. He was very alert the whole day, but then slept quite well that night.
All my efforts lately are not wasted and certainly would not be considered an excuse. Although sometimes it seems like I'm spinning my wheels, not getting anywhere, my end goals are always within sight. And I expect to continue to explore this big beautiful world. I ask that those of you that are still with me, hang in there and be prepared to see a whole lot more of the brighter side of the grave.


MorningAJ said...

I missed you, but I figured you were out there doing something important. Glad to have you back!

Jim said...

Good morning Stew.I figured you were busy with life as are most people.
Nice that you are taking the time to spend with your father. I am sure he appreciates the attention he gets from you and Ed. And you will look back at these special times with him and feel happy that you took the time to share with him.
You are right in that we all 'make our own bed' in life, and give and take from it as we see need to do.
No apologies needed Stew.....blogging is part of your life and it is its nature to be a very flexible tool for us that use it.
Have a great day.

John Gray said...

Well I an glad you're back things have a habit of ebbing and flowing do they not? So blogging should be no different

Stew Adams said...

Thanks for sticking with me.