Monday, September 2, 2013

That's What I Am

The name of the blog is "A Brighter Side of the Grave" and I have to admit that the last few months, I've seen a little gloom. I've been trying to adjust to a new life. I've given so much to helping my parents over the last eight years that now, I find myself wondering what to do next. Oh, the business is doing fine. In fact, we've picked up a couple new accounts that have made things a little easier for the bills to be paid. And I've got a plan for the next step in my life and am waiting patiently for everything to fall into place for that to begin.
While I am waiting however, I find myself finishing projects that I started years ago and even starting new ones. My husbands father is not doing well and I am trying to be supportive in the dealings there. But for this one, I must step back and let them breathe their own breath, much as he has done for me.

I was not always my parents biggest fan. I didn't always agree with their methods. I am glad that I was able to put all that behind me and we all came together in the end to love and accept each other. I can appreciate all that they tried to do and understand that they were always doing the best they knew how at the time. In time, they grew to appreciate the diversity of all their children including myself, despite the hateful comments I overheard as a child.

It's a new world now from when they were raised. It's changed a lot just in my own lifetime. And in my asking for love and acceptance, I've learned to love and accept others wherever they are in life. It's a little thing called Tolerance. It's something that happens when people take Human Dignity and add Compassion. It all comes together to equal Peace.

(Just a random picture I took this week.)
I spend day after day listening to funeral services. Some pay tribute to the life that was lived and yet others give glory to God for letting that person live. Despite my own beliefs and how I feel about any particular service that I attend, I must respect the wishes of the family to chose that send off. Even if the family chooses no service at all, I must accept that, and honor that.

I am a Funeral Assistant and Hearse Driver. That's what I am! I have found my place in this world. And now, with my parents passing, I have been given a new life. A life where  I can spend time with neighbors and friends. Where I can plan romantic get-a-ways with my husband. A life where I, for the first time in my life, have a life. I can mow the lawn because I want to. I can wash the car in the sun, because I think it looks dirty. A life where I will be able to help more people through a tough time in their life because I have been there. I have experienced that loss. And I am learning to live again.

For those that have been with me for a while, I thank you. And for you new ones ( yes, I see you) welcome. I've got new ideas and big dreams in the works. As I grow into this new skin, you will get to grow along side me. I'm looking forward to it all.


jaz@octoberfarm said...

this is such a wonderful post. we do need more tolerance in our world. it is a very exciting time to be alive to see all of the changes. i can't wait to follow your journey!

Jim said...

A good perspective to have Stew especially after all that that you have lived with the past couple years. Sounds like you have 'taken that bull by the horns' and are definitely moving forward. Good for you and good luck with the new prospects ahead.

Stew Adams said...

It will be a journey. While death will always be a major part of my life, this journal will chronicle more of the adventures in life with an appreciation for death.
Death is simply a reminder to get out there and live.

JB Miller said...

Ah hell - I love you Stew and love that I am a part of your VERY interesting life!

John Gray said...

Still reading
Still enjoying x

MorningAJ said...

I missed this post while I was away on holiday. What a wonderful, sensible, caring, inspiring post it is. Glad to play a part in your new life. X


Stew, I left Detroit 40yrs ago. I think you live in the same area that my sister-in-law is
located. My nephew Tom (57yrs old) passed away bout 3 or 4 weeks ago. He had
Crohn's disease all his life, they found he had cancer of the brain. He couldn't
marry, and had no life. God has His way, no matter what. You have been through
much and can identify with many people. Everyone is Beautiful. I can relate with you, I have only one eye, since 8yrs old. I am now 74, and Thank God for all my years on this earth. Take Care. Joe Galant Sr. Lakeland Florida

Stew Adams said...

It's nice to see you here Joe. We will miss the banter on the Dunes. But we have not heard the last from our friend Justin.
Welcome to the Brighter Side, Joe.