Saturday, May 14, 2011

Something I've learned

It's Day 24 of the 30 blog challenge. I'm to tell about something that I've learned. I've learned a lot quite frankly and much of it probably beyond my years. I could write about any number of things with this one. Considering the circumstances in my life right now, I will tell you about something that I learned just tonight. (It's now about 1am) After only a few hours of sleep, I went to work last night. When I got off work this morning, I went to the nursing home to visit with my mother. Her condition is deteriorating rapidly. She can no longer open her eyes or even speak. As we see it, she may be gone by morning. (We'll see) The papers that we received from hospice state that she can hear us, even if she can not respond. I've always felt that this was something they put in there for the grieving family more than the person that is dieing. I could tell that my father wasn't buying it either. To humor myself and to keep from having a breakdown, I kept talking to and joking with my mother all day. Yes, I was there from 8am to about 11:45pm. At one point, everyone else had left the room. I told Mom that I would be there for her no matter what. And that I would keep taking care of Dad. At that moment her face winced and whole body shook as a tear came from her left eye. She tried so hard to say something. Her frail body just couldn't do it. I know that she was telling me, as she often does, that she loves me and didn't know what she would do without me. And that she is scared. Fighting back the tears myself, I told her that it would be all right and that I know what she was trying to say. And that I love her too.

So what is it that I learned tonight? I learned that they can hear you. That is your opportunity to say what you need to say. And that in the end, Love is all that matters.



Anonymous said...

Jack wrote: "Oh Stewie, I feel so bad for you. I learned a long time to say nice things when leaving someone 'cause that may be the last thing you ever get to say to them."

Anonymous said...

Stephanie wrote: " thoughts are with you. I hope that you found peace in that lesson."

That corgi :) said...

again I am so sorry.....I can only hope it is peaceful in the end (been praying for that for her). I have to believe they can hear; your mom responding like that reinforces my belief that they can (I said goodbye to my mom over the phone while she was unconscious, I have to believe she heard........)

my thoughts are with you all.....


Jim said...

Stew, know that we are thinking about you and wish you all the strength you will need to get through this time.
Your Mom is very fortunate to have you near now. It is so important to them and for you.
All the best,

Calling Ravens said...

I am so glad that you have learned that for both of you. And trust me, she will be able to hear you loud and clear after she crosses too, so feel free to keep talking to her-you are not imagining it.
Love and peace to you Stew, and to her and to all your loved ones.