Usually the not so interesting part of my job as a hearse driver is standing in the weather, good or bad, directing people where to park. Sorting them out for if they are driving in procession to the cemetery or if they are just there for the service. One of the hardest things to do is get the lines of cars started. We are dealing with parking lots that have your typical yellow lines painted on the pavement in a grid fashion for your everyday parking situations. To simplify the procession, and keep cars close together so as to eliminate confusion on the roads, we line up the cars as they arrive. It will take several lines usually. We'll start by putting immediate family behind the hearse. The next row will have other family and the next will be friends. Now, I feel that friends should probably go before family as those are the people that we've chosen to have in our lives rather than the ones that we are stuck with. But that's another story. My biggest problem for the most part is when car #2 shows up after car #3, #4, and #5. My feelings are that if you want to be one of the first cars then you better get there first. People tend to think that they have reserved parking or something and show up late. They forget about the logistics of the situation or don't understand that we are lining up.
Other times we'll have people that insist on parking close to the door because they have a handicap permit. Well, we kind of reserve the spot by the door for the guest of honor. You can't get much more handicapped than dead. So you'll have to park where I direct you to. Often when we are getting started, we'll have people that think they are parking out of the way and it ends up that they are right smack in the middle of where you need to put a line of 10 cars. And they are facing sideways of the line. I try to understand that they don't see in their heads what it will look like when I have 200 people here and there's no room for anymore cars. But all I ask is that they listen to what I tell them. If I tell them to park behind the silver Saturn, then don't park behind the red Cadillac! Is that too much?
And that is a little peek into the life of a hearse driver. Just remember.... If I don't see you in the near future, I'll see you in the far pasture.